writer, writing (the druid saps up) -- this accent brought to you by Red in Orange is the New Black.

Which is more positive, everything can happen, or anything can happen?

(Don't worry, this is only a question which helps determine your capacity for sociopathy.  I am working on my own, extremely specific, definition...)

I keep smelling yellow-zest icing...
ain't that weird...
(considering I don't think I ever had any)

All this Appalachia witchy shit Josie gave me to read *(Dimestore by Lee Smith and (an appropriately well-weathered Witches on the Road Tonight)*...I do actually appreciate all that holler-billy worming up into me.  WHO KNEW??)  Not I).

 I woke up in serious tears about this guy -- dark-hared, my kind of beautiful face --his name was James & he was very much a JAMES,  so clearly his own self, so much so, I knew/know this guy, he's got a southern drawl but he's talking, thinking fast,  v urgently, the minute we get upstairs he grabs me and says he loves me -- says it like it's got him by the throat, like he's terrified, like he's confessing -- and I feel the same way --
then so unhappily was I torn up from the dream I was crying, no, no, and then I was awake, still clinging, I couldn't stop fucking
crying.
Torn out of my arms, it's got to be a memory, a sometime-incarnation time when you grab him and he's gone -- he's already gone --

feel like I've lost them all, sometimes.  Every last brother father son lover husband friend, every uncles and all my baby nieces, nephews & cousins.  Why risk that kind of loss again?  No matter how lonely I get, I do not have a child to hand over/
OVER MY DEAD  BODY.

zis time,
ees tru.

Oui.  J'exagere, mais c'est pas ca.

Having recently finished Paris Red (loved it!) am now u-tubing directions to the beautiful podcast recorder I was given/lent (way too many months ago -- did I mention tech and I not best  buddies? Which bothers me because I have always been excellent at logic --)

SO fascinating, thus far, yes??
(See My Struggles for more slog, if that's what you're into).


BE YOURSELF, everybody says that!  WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT IF NOBODY LIKES YOUR SELF?

What else do They say?  'Don't be a fuckin people-pleaser!'
What a crock.

How stupid is that to say, to even think!

If you can't please the ones you love/
then ya got to please yourself

(but how are not at least some of them intricately intertwi-need...?)

No you can't please everyone, but it's nice to please one.
Or two, or five, or eleven.
(And you can't count the four-leggeds.  Or the Dalai Lama).

9th of January
Thor's 90th birthday
2016